Onto episode four! To think this show has been on for a month and it still kinda feels like a bunch of subplots thrown into a cauldron that refuse to mix well.
This episode starts during a flashback in 1961 and we see a black teenager being chased and killed by a bunch of rednecks. Then we see Angela Basset go apeshit over this and raise a bunch of voodoo zombies to seek revenge. This season is all about dealing with racism in any way possible.
Next we see the creepy ass butler get more creepy. He just so happens to be an avid porcelain doll collector like many creeps are. I’m not sure if he happens to be British or just plain crazy but he also loves to have tea parties with these dolls. During his tea party he hears a scream and we see his point of view during the massacre of Madison seen at the ending of last week’s episode. We really don’t see much added to this scene that we didn’t see last week other than those dolls.
After that Fiona discovers that Queenie is alive and will live to masturbate to minotaurs another day. Her only issue is she happened to pass out and remains unconscious. So I assume off-screen with her major telekinesis powers Fiona drags the big girl into bed and brings her back to life.
Next we see Queenie’s paramour the minotaur arrive at Angela Basset’s salon with his head in a box. Talk about express delivery! Angela ends up screaming all dramatic like and basically screams , “This means war!” Hence a giant battle between the voodoo witches and those from the school shall likely commence in the following episodes.
The first and only time we see Kyle in this episode is so quick if you blink you shall miss it. We see that he escapes his home and his on the loose. One would think it’d be easy to find a Frankenstein teen roaming the streets but alas not simply because it’s Halloween. How convenient.
Fiona decides to be quite the hipster and go all meta by dressing as an old fashioned stereotypical witch. I really wished as a gay man she would of dressed like Glinda the good witch which would have been incredibly ironic but sadly Ryan Murphy is a bad gay and it didn’t come to his mind.
Then we see the flashback of the original witch school truce with the voodoo witches. Clearly Fiona didn’t mind to read up on this history lesson because she mainly started shit she can’t handle with those bitches already.
Another random scene ensues with the head mistress’ husband cheating with a hot red head he met online. Some incredible sex scenes ensue and end with him shooting her in the head. So far all we know about this guy is he can’t have kids and he shoots random hook ups in the head. He’s not a witch so why do we care about him?
Kathy Bates goes on to thank Queenie for saving her. Her life long racism came to an end after just a simple Minotaur tried to murder her. Maybe Paula Dean needs one .
Ding Dong! Plot developments knocking! In comes the witch’s council. For Halloween we get a zany red head, a old lady, and an old queen. This eclectic group came for the sole purpose to make Fiona pay for killing Madison! Sadly even though this show is based in a world with magic this dimwit trio doesn’t use any to prove Fiona did it. If you haven’t noticed the witches in this show barely use magic other than here and there.
We are treated to a flash beak for the first time Fiona was questioned about killing the old supreme witch. We then learn this red head mentioned above has always hated Fiona and had a vendetta against her even back then. So the red head cleverly bewitched the creepy butlers tongue to tell the truth about who killed the supreme witch. But alas it doesn’t work because the butler cuts out his own tongue to prove his love for Fiona.
We then go back to the present and the red head demands to know who cut out his tongue. He says he did it himself and the red head has a giant melt down on screen and screams for a long ass time. The head mistress then goes on to say alas Madison wasn’t the next witch supreme because she had a heart mummer. Who knew that had any effect on being a supreme witch when Fiona the current one just so happens to have cancer.
Then we have another scene where Angela Basset decides to make Halloween a tad more interesting but summoning and hoard of flesh eating voodoo zombies. I’m assuming its cheaper than buying candy these days.
Then we see a scene where the butler dresses up like a girl and has kept Madison’s body to add to his collection of dolls and tea party guests.
Then we see a girls night out between the head mistress and Fiona. They play a game of three questions and we learn Fiona thinks her daughter’s husband is a creep. (He just so happens to be an insane craigslist like murderer.) Then we also learn the head mistress won’t reveal who she thinks the new supreme witch is. After this we see the head mistress had a bit too much to drink and barfs her brains out. Then the perfect cure for a hangover comes along as a cloaked figure comes and splashes acid into her face.
The show ends with the zombies showing up at the door.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
photo courtesy of pinterest.com Though he passed away on July 6th of a seizure, we now know Cameron Boyce has been officially cremat...
For those of you who have been on social media and were big "The Real L Word" fans, as I was, you pretty much know, via photos...
Tracy DiMarco Eps of "Jerseylicious" fame is expecting her second child with husband Corey Eps and they did a huge gender reveal...
photo courtesy of bravotv.com As the season 13 finale of the RHOC approaches (it is literally just a handful of hours away), it is ti...